Day 1 and 2

Wherein I write about the time my husband went to Alaska to work on commercial fishing boat...

Day 1

We stayed in a hotel where we watched as a red and orange sunset acted as backdrop for the frequent planes taking off from the airport.  I wanted to stay awake all night, cherish every minute, watch the planes take off, but he convinced me to sleep since I'd be driving home alone in the morning.  So we slept.  Four hours of broken sleep.  Awake at three a.m. with tears, the big, silent ones that slide down cheeks and drip from chins.  I dropped him off at the airport at four a.m. and cried the two hour drive home then spent the rest of the day in a state of emotional fragility.  I know it's important to be strong and confident so he knows he doesn't have to worry while he's away.  But I just feel like mush.  Weepy, emotional mush.  Oh, I'll be ok.  We'll make it through.  It's only 6 weeks, unless it turns to 7.  42 days or 49.  But in the meantime, home feels less homey.  And my heart aches.  I breathe deeply, exhaling harshly, trying to rid my lungs of the heaviness that sits, like so many weights in my chest.  This man is my everything and I feel I must learn to live with only half of myself like an amputee learns to live without a limb.  Maybe I'm being dramatic, I mean, it's only 6 weeks.  Pull yourself together, woman!  So I busy myself.  Day 1 is filled with making hummingbird food, hard boiling some eggs, cleaning out the fireplace, doing laundry, washing the dining room floor, securing a tarp over our stacked firewood, cutting the irises back, and dusting.  And I've been up since 3.

 

Staying busy cleaning out the fireplace...

 

Day 2

Woke at 5, fed the chickens, and got back into bed.  It's unnatural to see one half of the bed unrumpled.  No more sleep to be had so I got up and brewed a pot of coffee and drove the boys to school.  Turned on some contemporary Christian music and set to work scrubbing the kitchen floor, the bathtub, the bathroom floor, the sliding glass door, the oven.  I showered and dressed and ventured to Walmart.  Less tears today.  I got to text with Aaron and he sent a picture of the cabin of the boat.  They are doing maintenance on the boat this week, getting it ready to take out to the Bering Sea.  Blake and I will head to church this evening, stopping for dinner at Happy Teriyaki.

 

I got dressed...

 

 

 

I got out of the house (so did Charlie - in the backseat!)...

 

 

I let him drive...