Monday, September 19, 2016


This is the year that my son turns 18.  This is the one that he graduates high school.  He could be living on his own within the year.  This is the one that has loomed heavy in the distance since he was knee high to a grasshopper.  Yet, here we stand.  I ready my heart for what comes, not sure if there is ever really a "ready".

In the meantime I stand by, on call, in case I'm needed. Because that never goes away, that careful attentiveness that comes with motherhood.  The intrinsic things of mothering are as part of me now as my very soul. We two are one.

So I get the rolled eyes when I may be hovering a little close and I try to back off. I don't want to smother my birds as they make their way to nest's edge but I'm certainly not ready to push their fledgling bodies over.

This is a fine dance, this one of allowing wings to spread, watching as they feel the warm breeze lift them ever so slightly, offering a glimpse of what is to come. It aches and it rejoices and it beams with pride and stays awake at night in worry. And it is a dance that I don't know the steps to just yet but I try to keep up with the music anyway.

I remember back to where we were just a year ago: fighting a darkness that felt so strong, so overpowering that it almost seemed easier to just succumb to the weight of it, to allow it to pull us under.  It was a battle of epic proportions but I see, only now, that we are better for having fought it.

He's a high school senior.  He's starting his first day of college classes today.  He is student member of the Police Advisory Board as well as a Police Explorer with our city's department.  He continues on with the high school JROTC rifle team.  And just like that, he's a member of the community and making decisions and living life.

Now, we look toward the future. So much will change in the next year, two years, three years. Our lives will change and evolve and there is no way to know what that will look like. But here, in this time, I watch my little birds that are not little at all.  And I see that their flight feathers are coming in nicely.  I see them struggle with this new skill but it's not one that I can learn for them.  It is that dance of struggle and stumble and succeed that I danced when I was their age too.

They may never know the heart wrenching love I have felt for them since they first came into my life. They may never know the tears I've wept, the fear I've battled, the prayers I've whispered. They may never know how much their lives have changed my very being, made me something better than I ever was before. They may never know how thankful I am for them. They are the best and most beautiful thing I've ever done.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

where I share: a few of my favorites and leopard print

~Favorite coffees~

*Best roaster:  San Juan Roasters (it's an hour ferry ride away but SOOO good!).  Hurricane Coffee in Sequim, Washington is also a very delicious choice (also a ferry ride away).

*Ordering from a coffee shop:  Vanilla Americano with cream (hot or iced depending on the weather)
My favorite coffee shop is Whidbey Coffee.  There are two locations in my town and both are amazing places to sit and watch the world go by or meet with friends for a chat.

*At home:  Folgers, with a hint of sugar and a splash of milk or occasionally I'll try varieties from local roasters.

~Fall Clothes~

Boots with tall shafts, boots with mid shafts, booties!!  I'm a mess with the boots.
These aren't mine yet.  Just admiring them.

I'm loving the plaid and the flannel and layers.  I'm loving the denim and the stripes.  These are two of my current outfits.  The top outift is a mixture of Stitch Fix and Maurices.   The bottom outfit is Maurices, Van Heusen, and I can't remember where the flannel is from but it is the BEST!


~Cozy Reads~

*The Woman In Cabin Agatha Christie-style mystery thriller, pure reading entertainment

*Kitchens of the Great Midwest....the rich story of a woman and all the people and things that have molded her life.  It's gritty and parts of it are not pretty but that's life.

*Beard On Bread....I love food and people who love food and recipes for food and descriptions of food.

~Comfort Foods for September~

*Roast beef with golden potatoes and baby carrots, gravy, and fresh Parker House rolls

*French Dip sandwiches made with leftover roast beef

*Mexican Chicken Soup

*Fresh caught Tuna, potatoes, summer squash, garlic green beans

~Making Art~

Charcoal Sunflower

~Some things making me happy~

Feathering the nest with these new reclining loveseats...please tell me why we didn't do this sooner!!  Owning recliners does make me feel like we've reached some sort of age threshold.

~A Snapshot from today!~

This is what dragging yourself out of the house on a sleepy, rainy Saturday morning to go to Yoga looks like...

Then after yoga I swung by the Post Office to mail a package and an older gentleman commented on my hair.  You see, after yoga class I just piled my hair on the back of my head in a heap and secured it with a hair band, but this man thought it was so artistic and amazing and I should definitely get a picture of it so that I could see it.  Ha!  Ok.

Here you go, this is 38 years old and leopard print leggings and my teenage son's car and yoga hair.  You're welcome.

Then, after yoga, I went home and ate quinoa seaweed wraps. 

Just kidding, I ate two hot dogs.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

summer into fall

Fall has come to the Pacific Northwest.  And it is beautiful.  I think some of our best weather happens in September and early October.  Mornings are crisp and sometimes foggy but by afternoon it is warm and sunny.

I never buttoned up Summer here on my blog.  Pity, I know.  So I have some pictures to share, late summer pictures.

We have beautiful sunsets here, when the sun sinks into the salt water in a fiery splash of color.

I love the layering of blues that the sky, mountains, and water create.
Insects are rather indifferent about having their picture taken.


The guys at church sang "Sound The Battle Cry" last month.
Taking pictures of my food....
because sometimes I eat really well.
Pic #1 garden fresh summer squash, cherry tomatoes, basil, olive oil
Pic #2  slow cooked cinnamon apples with creamy grits
Pic #3  avocado, yellow tomatoes, basil, balsamic, salt and pepper

I visited this book store recently.  It was so well organized that one would almost hate to move the books for fear of messing with the order.  A little later I was in another book store that was more my speed, big cushy chairs and stacks of books in all the corners. 

The guys rowed the canoe out to that island out there and camped.
I went grocery shopping and ate chips.

The next series of photos was from our day trip to:
Fort Warden, Washington





The kind of "nice" picture you get when you hang out with crazies.
Charlie had the best time and he always photographs nicely.

Lunch was ordered from this 50's style diner with awesome fixtures that they actually used.
The milkshake machine...
The cola fountain...

Countertop Jukebox selector...

There.  That was where summer ended.  Now school is in session and we're full swing into schedules and organization and cleaning and baking and candles and the sort.
Youngest son is in 10th grade and taking a couple honors-level classes.  He's counting down the days until he can get his learner's permit (just one month!).  And looking forward to getting back into wrestling once the season starts (not soon enough!).
Eldest son is a Senior.  He's taking just two classes at the high school and the rest at the community college.  He's serving as the student member of the Community Police Advisory Board and is also volunteering with the Police Department as an Explorer.  Thankfully he has his license and a car!
Next time I'll share my favorite coffees and my latest reads.  See you then.