Monday, July 8, 2013

to step away and draw closer

The washing machine stopped working.  My Aaron fished a handful of change, bobby pins, and earrings out of the pump.  After getting it all put back together, it runs like a dream.  If you don't pay any mind to the broken knob that takes a wrench to turn if your grip isn't tight enough.

He is so good to have around, that man.  He makes dreamy grilled cheese sandwiches.  And fixes things that need fixing.  And holds me on the front porch on warm evenings.  Would it be bragging to say he does laundry and dishes on his days off while I'm at work?  Well, he does.


Today I shut down my old blog.  It was my writing home since September of 2006.  And it no longer exists.  I had been feeling a pull to stop writing all together.  Discontented with the blog community, discontented with my lack of writing inspiration, discontented with the time I didn't have to spend writing.  Those things have not left my mind.

Social media, in general, leaves a sour taste in my mouth.  I have only this blog, Facebook, and Pinterest (although I'm not sure that counts as "social").  

Facebook holds a draw to me as a way to keep up with happenings, but it also leans toward a way to spy on folks without investing time and love into them.  And that's sad.  And that makes me want sever my ties there.  If it weren't for my far away family that are all on FB, I'd do it this instant.

In that same breath, I feel the desire to bring back old fashioned letter writing, printed photo sharing, greeting cards.  I'd probably miss out on some things, not be "in the loop" anymore.  But what connections I did have would be deeper, richer, more purposeful.


Would folks send me pictures of their babies via snail mail?  Would they still alert me of new mailing addresses and happy vacation details?

On a sarcastic note, I'd be devastated to miss out on everyone's work-out plans, diet plans, camoflaged and vague family troubles, complaints about restaurant service, and pictures of their dog's underbelly.

Yes, I could probably live without that.

But I'm still in a middle place about walking away from Facebook altogether.  I think it holds me too tightly and maybe that's a struggle I'm really going to have to get serious about.

I don't want my life lived on a screen.  I don't want my relationships to exist online.  I don't want to be uninvested in people that God has placed in my life.  I have a modest 184 "friends" on FB but wouldn't it be so much more awesome to kindle just 5 real friendships, nurture them, grow them in real time, and in person?

And those are some things to chew on.


  1. i am an extrovert. social. and most of the draw to hang out online is to scratch that hang out with friends itch.

    i feel like i can relate to what you wrote about the discontentment. me too. i've been out of touch and uninspired. i have TONS in my brain that wants out, and yet i have nothing to say. i don't enjoy surfacy, superficial chit chat. it leaves me feeling drained and exhausted. but i'm rarely interacting with anything in depth online either right now.

    my "scratching" efforts often leave me feeling "itchier." there's a weird loneliness that being online stirs. i'm not sure how to explain it.

    and to the "right?" that you asked as well as the rest of this post, i'm saying RIGHT! and amen. and glad that your snail mail address is already written down in my book. :)

  2. Sweet Eli, it was good to read your post today, I always enjoy reading what is on your heart. I also long for deeper and richer relationships, trusting God to bring them to pass. Sometimes I wonder if it's even possible in this day and age. You are right to put the ones at home first and it is an important stage of life to nurture. If you want to snail mail with me, I would love that. But, I understand if it is too much right now.
    Yesterday I took an Alexandra Stoddard book down to the pond with my journal. honestly, I only sat down for like 10-15 minutes (kids were swimming, but didn't last long), but reading her words refreshed my soul just enough to keep going..........


  3. This sounds familiar, like an in-person conversation from not so long ago...
    I understand the draw to Facebook and do sometimes feel very left out since I'm not on it. I am slightly reassured, though, when I realize my friends are true friends and not just friends of convenience on the computer. It does seem that people aren't as willing to invest time into growing friendships the old fashioned way when they can learn way more than they need to know about someone online. Praying for you and your dear family, that The Lord would sustain and renew you daily. I hope it is not such a long time before we get to connect again.