an interview

An Interview With An Aspiring Yoga Teacher

What is your experience in yoga?

Five years ago I suffered chronic back pain that affected every area of my life. Yoga was a way that I could take responsibility for my body and regain strength and health.  It was a game changer for me.   

Why do you teach?

I love yoga so much and see every benefit in living this lifestyle. I have experienced what it has done for me and teaching and sharing is a natural outpouring of that love.

What are your best or favorite poses?

Balancing poses and inversions remind me that I am capable of things beyond what I can imagine.  I used to approach these with fear but have learned to trust my body to carry me through

In short, who are you off the mat?

When not on my mat, chances are you’ll find me on a trail in the woods with camera in hand.  I jump at the opportunity to be among trees.  

What is your favorite quote?

“Courage, dear heart.” C.S. Lewis

Why do you like practicing yoga?

Yoga gives me confidence.  It introduces me to myself, the side of myself that doesn’t have limits.  It breaks down the walls and whispers words of encouragement and all of that follows me into life.

Who inspired you?

I had a teacher named Silvana that was a beam of light.  She let her heart shine and encouraged her students to do the same.  She really inspired me to start discovering my potential.  I aspire to be a teacher like that who just brings out the best in each student.

What inspires you?

I am an artist and musician, this creative side of me blends so well with my practice of yoga and allows me to soften and feel, to listen to the artistry of a yoga sequence.

What style do you like to teach?

A yummy slow flow is my jam.  Hatha and vinyasa offer a nice combination of breath and heat and movement with attention to alignment.

What feeling do you get after practice?

Shtira and sukha. Strength and softness in balance.  I’ll often feel all the feels after class because my heart has been opened and my barriers let down.  

of fear and freedom

Four weeks have flown by.  I'm four weeks into yoga teacher training and still would not want to be doing anything else.  The stretching is unbelievable and I'm not even talking physically.  Every bit of this is far outside my realm of comfort.  The meeting new people.  The talking.  The teaching in public.  The quiz taking.  The remembering of things.  But I believe so strongly in the power of yoga and a lifestyle of yoga that all of this is worth it.

In the last month I've learned more and more about letting go.  This isn't even something that is being taught in class, rather something revealed to me as I learn.  I have held on to some ideas for such a long time that to pry my hands open and relinquish these things is almost painful.  Things I'm letting go:  striving for perfection, being strong, distrusting emotions, fitting inside the box, following tradition because it is tradition.

I don't want to act the part anymore.  Talking the talk.  Walking the walk.  I just want to BE.  The weight of holding on to those things is crushing.  And the maddening thing about it is the weight I've been carrying was never meant to be carried in the first place.  What the heck have I been hauling it around for?

So little by little I learn to LET GO.  To step into FREEDOM.  The freedom that was meant for me.  The freedom I was meant to cling to.  The freedom that is available to anyone not just the few.  Here's a thought, no one has the monopoly on God.  He's bigger than all that.  He is limitless.  He is not confined.  He is not defined.  He is not a secret club that only a few have the password for.  This I am learning.  And this is the root of my freedom.

I've lived with fear.  Fear of saying the wrong thing or looking different.  Fear that I might appear weak.  Fear that I might show emotion.  Fear of what people would think of me if I was just myself.  Fear that they would dismiss me if I changed.  All that fear built up walls around me, walls meant to protect and shield and hide.  But honestly, I have changed.  I've changed so much.  And brick by brick those walls are being crushed.  I'm learning to step into freedom.  I'm learning not to hide.  I'm learning that it's ok to be weak or have emotion or to mess up or to be human.  Oh my gosh.  Let's all be human shall we?!

A lot of this stuff I've learned because of my journey with yoga.  Yoga is more than stretches.  But for the sake of simplicity let me try to explain this on a physical level.  In practicing yoga there is a mind body connection.  The body may reach a point where it says to the mind, this is the furthest I've ever gone and I'll stop here and it's just really not possible to go further.  The mind whispers gently, push on, I have faith in you.  And with that little bit of encouragement the body finds it's power to go further.

I have experienced myself do things in my yoga practice that I would have thought were impossible.  I've reached plateaus and reached further.  It is always astounding to reach into that well of possibility and pull out a full bucket.  In yoga it is called finding your latent potential and it is a lifelong journey.

Physical achievements are but one aspect of yoga so don't think that I'm talking about finally touching my toes or standing on my head.  It is not solely putting the body into a position to achieve a photo worthy pose.  When I can reach into that well of possibility, where I thought I had reached the bottom and drained it dry, and pull up a full bucket, it is at that point that we've reached past the body and into harmony.

Now we have stepped beyond the physical aspect.  Apply those things to life.  That is yoga.



I'll add some words from Will Smith here.  The Fresh Prince of Bel Air has some wise things to say!

Be able to go.

Get out of the middle.

Quit holding on.

Get comfortable falling.

Jump and be free.

This is where I am.  I'm jumping.  I'm asking God to reveal who He is.  I'm accepting who I am. I'm learning how to live in freedom.  I'm living without those stupid walls.  I'm nourishing the flame inside.  I'm learning how to share that light.

Please don't think for a moment that these things are easy to share.  Writing all of this and making it public is part of my journey no matter the fear I have to step through to do it.  Come what may, this is me living in freedom.

Until next time!

asanas

One aspect of the practice of yoga is the beautiful postures and poses called "asanas".  Practiced mindfully, asanas can have innumerable benefits on the systems of the body.

Simply, there are ten categories the asanas can be organized into.

1.  Standing poses improve circulation, strengthen leg muscles, and offer greater hip and knee mobility.

2.  Seated poses release the spine while cooling and calming the body.

3.  Inversions circulate the lymphatic system and decompress the lower back.

4.  Lateral bends lengthen the spine while aiding digestion and proper breathing.

5.  Twists relieve compression and gas while invigorating the nervous system.

6.  Hip openers release tension and emotions.  They strengthen the muscles surrounding the hips and expand mobility.

7.  Back bends open the front side of the body and allow greater spine flexibility.  They energize the whole body.

8.  Forward folds calm the mind, relieving anxiety and stress.  They stretch the posterior side of the body and aid in digestion.

9.  Heart and shoulder openers assist in posture correction.  They offer greater shoulder mobility and can help unstick emotions.

10.  Balancing poses improve focus and strength.  They boost confidence and help with circulation.

One well thought out yoga sequence can touch on each of these categories and bring loads of healing and energy and calm and heat and flexibility.  Who wouldn't want this???

body systems

Yoga is more.

Whatever you think it is.  It is more.

When you think you have an idea.  Go deeper.

My own experience has shown me multifaceted benefits to the practice of yoga.  I have felt the progression.  I have lived the changes.  And still there is more.

Just to nick the surface a little I wanted to share the benefits to seven systems of the body from the practice of yoga.

Every body has a skeletal system.  It's what gives stability to your muscles.  It holds you up.  It frames your body.  Our bones are living tissue.  The practice of yoga keeps your joints healthy and lubricated.  It aids in the regenerating of blood cells in the marrow.  It lengthens the muscles that surround the bones.  It corrects posture issues.  Pretty sweet deal, right?

Every body also has a muscular system.  Muscles allow us to move.  They take us places.  And with yoga, those muscles are going to have a greater range of flexibility.  Yoga gently lengthens and strengthens most every muscle in the body.  It relieves tension and opens up the fascia.  Muscles and yoga are a match made in heaven.

The cardiovascular system transports oxygen, nutrients, hormones, and cellular waste.  Blood is life  and 5 liters of it are circulated through the body.  The practice of yoga lowers the risk of heart disease, lowers blood pressure, and lowers bad cholesterol.  It can also help the body to become more sensitive to insulin, thus controlling blood sugar.

Without a nervous system we would be a wreck.  This system collects information from inside the body and from the environment outside, sending it to the brain for storing and for appropriate responses.  The nervous system regulates the functions of our organs and sends commands to every area of the body.  Yoga's part in the health of the nervous system is astounding.  It helps the body recognize good and bad tension, allowing for appropriate responses.  It supports physiological well being.  Specific postures can induce energy or relaxation.  With practice, a yogi can learn to control aspects of the nervous system.

The endocrine system houses our hormones and glands, regulating body growth, sexual function, mood, metabolism, and tissue function.  Yoga stimulates glands, stabilizing hormonal fluctuations.  Yoga stimulates blood flow to the hypothalamus, the portion of the brain that has direct control over the endocrine system and interestingly is also the center of our emotions.

Our lymphatic system is a powerhouse network that makes immune cells that help the body fight infection.  It filters the lymph fluid of bacteria and cancer cells.  It even transports fat from the digestive system.  A work horse!  Muscular contractions in yoga stimulate the lymph channels.  Yoga improves circulation, allowing that network to transport the good stuff and filter out the bad.

Finally, the digestive system.  I don't think we need an explanation of the importance of the digestive system but let's talk about what yoga does for your digestion.  Yoga postures provide an internal massage of the digestive tract.  They strengthen the muscles of the internal organs and ensure a steady flow of blood and oxygen.  Bowels are regulated.  Bloat is decreased.  All good things.

Can you think of the people around you that struggle with any one of these areas?  More than one?Are you afflicted in any one of these areas?  Yoga can seriously help.  I'm not even trying to sell you anything.  It's just that, if you see a friend drowning, you are going to throw them a rope or a life ring, right?  This is your life ring.

how it's going

I'm already in week 3 of yoga teacher training and it has been such an incredible experience.  Every thought and emotion has been drawn out of me for evaluation and growth.  I've been humbled and empowered.  I've shed tears and shined smiles from the heart.

In the first two weeks, my body was sore.  So sore.  But strengthening.  It's not all about getting stronger and becoming more flexible.  It's about the journey and what you learn along the way.  My body is learning to realize it's latent potential.  I'm learning to trust myself and rise stronger.  I'm learning to connect my body with my mind and my heart.  That is what yoga is, a unity within, and in turn, unity without.

In the second week I was presented with a fact about myself.  I'm a perfectionist.   Nobody had to tell me this fact.  It honestly revealed itself to me in a moment of great humbling.  I got sad.  I got mad.  Then I learned.  The reason I'm a perfectionist is because I'm afraid of being wrong.  Afraid of how I'll appear to an onlooker.  Hmm... Interesting.  Fear cripples a person and prohibits them from going further, prohibits growth and authenticity.  I don't want to live crippled by perfectionism.  I want to be FREE to make mistakes and be seen as a fallible human.  So, I'm working on this.  A little less OCD and a little more FREEDOM.

My classmates are so great.  There are 8 of us and we are all about as different from each other as you can get.  We all come from different places, brought here for different reasons, but together there is such unity of heart.  When I hear them talk, I think, ah! these are my people!!  I would probably have never known them if it weren't for yoga but despite our differences, we have become family.  They are supportive and compassionate and I adore each one of them for the light they share.

My life and my world are very much overtaken right now with everything yoga.  I'm studying a lot.  I'm practicing a lot.  I'm audibly cueing sequences while hiking.  I'm dreaming about poses.  I'm meditating on the history and changes that have come about in yoga.  This is only a 10 week course and I want to soak in as much as possible, learn as much as I can, and not take a moment of it for granted.

Life still happens.  I make sure to fix my family dinner before I leave for class.  I keep the house clean.  I harvest my garden.  I love on my puppy dog.  And I really, really try to take a little time "off" of yoga to rest my mind and recharge.  Right now, in fact, I'm going to take my dog and my camera somewhere pretty on the island, and enjoy the sunshine.

Until next time!

currently

Maybe time for a catching up post, it's been awhile.
So here I offer you my list of currently....


Reading... The Heart of Yoga by TKV Desikachar

Cooking... The menu for this week includes:

• pork chops with mashed sweet potatoes and broccoli  
• beans and ham with greens and cornbread
• shepherd's pie
• chicken fajitas
• white chicken chili 

Eating...  I'm under the weather so while I was out I picked up some canned vegetable soup (low sodium) and sushi (for good measure) to eat in bed under the covers for my lunch.

Doing...  This morning I met up with three of my coworkers for some hot yoga.  These girls are pretty great and it was really fun to get to sweat next to them.  I love that we can support each other and recognize each other's inherent strengths without feeling intimidated.  Girl power at it's finest!

Going...  Last week I toured an art museum.  This week I'm going to a history museum.  Yes, by myself.  No, I don't mind.  I really find myself to be stimulating company and I'm never at a loss conversationally.  Drama is at a minimum and I can stay or go whenever I desire.

Loving...  You guys, I am fulfilling a dream of mine right now as I participate in a 10 week intensive yoga teacher training class.  Classes are four nights per week.  I'm one week in and have already learned so incredibly much.  I'm humbled by what I don't know but open and eager to grow.  My fellow students bring with them a distinct energy and warmth as we travel this road together.  Really, I can't put into words how happy I am.  More to come.
 
Discovering...  My favorite woods have been changing with the seasons.  Now it is cool and rainy.  Mushrooms are prevalent and the trails smell damp, of decomposing leaves.  I have to wear more layers and not mind getting rained on but it is still so beautiful. I will never tire of going to the woods.

Enjoying...  I'm enjoying being alive, here, right now.  I'm enjoying the rainy days and the early evenings.  I'm enjoying watching people, interacting with them, learning from them.  I'm enjoying being in my skin.  I'm enjoying taking study trips to coffee shops.  I'm enjoying change and growth.

Thinking...  Mostly what I'm thinking about is sequencing yoga classes.  Our homework this week is to create a 15 minute sequence which may sound simple but it's stinkin' hard for a beginner.  In 15 minutes I need to include some centering, some warming up, a Sivananda Namaskar, a Surya Namaskara A, a Surya Namaskara B, 3 standing poses, a seated pose, and of course Savasana.  And I have to know how to verbally cue students into and out of everything.  I wake up at night sequencing, verbally cueing, and generally panicking.  Ha!  But honestly I wouldn't want to be doing anything else.

Feeling...  sick.  I don't get sick often so when I do I get really whiney about it.  So I'm going to sit here with Kleenex hanging out of my nostril because I can't sniff or blow and I'm going to be miserable until I get better which will be soon because my body is an awesome self-healing machine.

Hoping for...  sanity and grace as we traverse this Senior year with Blake.  We have cap and gown already (!).  We have financial aid and scholarships to apply for.  There will probably be some college applications coming up.  He's still talking to some military branches.  And I know that these months leading up to graduation are going to scream by and it kind of hurts, but in a good way.

Listening to...  most recently Shawn Mendes

Celebrating...  My husband's birthday is this month.  I'll gladly celebrate him because he is the best person I know.  I already have his gift tucked away a few weeks early.

Smelling...  Nothing.  Stuffed up nose.

Thanking...  I don't know, I'm just thankful.  Like ooey-gooey thankful.  I'm thankful that we were able to get my husband in for an eye exam and get some glasses ordered so he can see.  I'm thankful that we can take charge of our health with vitamins and food and oils and hydration and YOGA!  I'm thankful for cute shoes.  I'm thankful for people that are genuinely supportive in good times and bad.  I'm thankful for the ability to purchase a couple used vehicles that we really like and sell a vehicle that we didn't need any more.  I'm thankful for the list I made a year and a half ago that set about changes in my life that have brought me to where I am today with a photography business (however slow it may be) and yoga teacher training begun.  I'm thankful.

Considering...  Maybe all this positive talk would lead a reader to believe that life is just sunshine and lollipops over here but please don't be mislead.  There is stress and weariness just the same as thankfulness and joy.  There is a lot of stretching and things that are not comfortable.  But I am an eternal optimist and even if I were to list the negative things in my life I could in turn list to you why/how there is a positive attached to it, or I'd sure try to anyhow.  I'm the finder of the silver lining.

Finishing...  this post so I can go read my homework.  I have homework!!  And essays!!  And quizzes!!

Until next time ❤

my yoga journey

There was a time that I suffered from back pain on a daily basis.  I spent days bent sideways because my back was so seized up that I couldn't lift into a full stand.  Ibuprofen did nothing to ease the pain.  Every morning I'd go to work and just tighten my jaw to make it through the day.  I couldn't carry heavy things without extreme pain.  I couldn't sit for long or stand.  I couldn't run or jump.  My body was stiff, my abilities were stifled.  My mantra became "I can't".

I saw a "natural" chiropractor a couple of times.  There was no relief and the visits seemed to exacerbate my pain.  This doctor told me I'd be in the same pain as long as I worked the same job. The best she could do would be to minimize my suffering but there really wasn't much she could do.

I got in with a different chiropractor, the best one in our area.  After a couple of visits my pain eased.  She was able to release the tight muscles and realign my body and she taught me some things I could do at home.  I saw her every three months and experienced that terrible back pain only occasionally.  But it was better, I had some relief.

Even with relief, I began to suspect that there was something more I could do.  I didn't want to be married to chiropractor visits for the rest of my life and I was still not feeling strong.  I came to the conclusion that I needed to heal myself from the inside out.  My body was my responsibility and I needed to take the reins and get myself stronger.

After seeing the chiropractor for a year I asked how she felt about yoga.  She felt that yoga could definitely be beneficial to my back health and I began right away.

I was not new to yoga at this point but I'd not practiced in quite some time.  A little side story, my first experience with yoga was at an athletic club where I worked in California.  I received access to the equipment and classes for free.  I had tried the kickboxing class and thought I might try this thing called yoga.  Those first few classes made me feel so awkward, I remember the instructor correcting my alignment in down-dog repeatedly and I felt that I might never get the hang of it.  I stuck it out and appreciated the calming effect that it had.  Eventually I left my job there and we moved away.  But I carried the tiny little flame of yoga deep, deep within.

When I returned to yoga in the hopes that I could help my back pain, I remember so vividly the first class and how my body just fell right into the rhythm.  It rekindled the little flame, brought to remembrance the strength and health my body was capable of.  I shed silent tears in those first few classes, not tears of pain or sadness, but because I was so moved by the power of the flame inside of me, by the power I could feel stirring to life.

It has been more than four years since my last chiropractor visit.   I can run.  I can jump.  I can do a headstand.  I'm stronger and more flexible than I've ever been.  I'm confident in what I can do and accepting of the things I struggle with.  I've learned to listen to my own body and respect it and treat it well.

Part of why I had so much pain in my lower back is because my body is just not symmetrical (not many bodies are) and it causes all of my alignment to be off.  With the deep stretching and strengthening that yoga offers I have been able to keep the ligaments and muscles limber so they don't seize up.  The muscles that support my back and my movements are also strengthened, carrying me every day with strength and a firm foundation.

My yoga is a journey.  It uncovers my weakness and strengths.  It exposes thoughts and emotions.  It isn't an emptying of the mind as some would claim but a mindfulness and an awareness.  As I practice, my walls are torn down.  The walls that time and complacency erect, the walls that keep me from doing things I once thought impossible (like running!).  My body's physical potential is unearthed and with it, my confidence.

I breathe now and I'm thankful for every breath.  I'm thankful for this body, for what it does for me, and for how it cares for me.  We get along now, this body and me.  We carry each other.

And I'm thankful for yoga.  Yoga taught me to love me and allowed me to find my flame.