Friday, June 9, 2017

putting joy on canvas

The sun shines despite the dark gray clouds.  A chill breeze carries the song of sparrows and finches.  Charlie and I are home alone, he laying in a sliver of sunlight on the floor next to me.  My coffee has gone cold again.

My to-do list sits heavily to my left.  The day is mostly mine although I do have a shift at the restaurant this evening.  I will make double chocolate chip cookies for the wrestling car wash tomorrow.  I will make time in the garden replanting some things that didn't take, hoping for a late harvest before fall's first frost.

My thirty-ninth birthday is next week.  I'm not sure how I feel about it yet.  I certainly don't feel the age, almost forty when I don't feel much more than twenty-five.  I'm thankful for the years, for the lessons life has taught me.

Here I stand at this new fork in the road, this junction between where I've been and where I want to be.  I wrote down the parts of life that bring me the most joy, a list of things I'm passionate about.  I studied the list, carried it with me for months.  And came to the conclusion that I need to build my life around those things.

I stepped away from the job I had as an office assistant.  It did not serve me well.  And now, with no clear direction ahead I step into this new idea that I must turn the things that bring me joy into my life.

Freelance is the term.  Gray, fuzzy details are the current game.

It is somewhat like seeing a beautiful painting in your mind, beautiful brush strokes, vivid colors, seamless blending, a stirring rendition of what is in the heart, but I'm not a painter.  All I have are a few broken, dirty crayons and a crumpled piece of paper.  How can I put to canvas this painting in my mind with the tools I currently have?

As with the rest of this one life, it shall be a grand adventure, I'm sure.  Stay tuned for changes.

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