speaking of my own experience

It occurred to me that while I have been working to fully embrace freedom from issues in my own life, there are so many issues that others are being held captive by.  It isn't only the things I'm dealing with that can cage us up and clip our wings.

Here are some thoughts that I had of things that may hold a person captive, maybe something rings true for you?

1. addictions (this is a vast category)
2. a cycle of comparing ourselves to others
3. living in darkness, an absence of light
4. eating disorders and fascination with weight
5. arrogance and egotism
6. religion and tradition
7. an abusive relationship
8. self destructive behavior
9. a job
10. refusing to change
11. fear
12. lack of motivation
13. living in the past or only for the future
14. narcissism

This is by no means an exhaustive list and each thing listed here could really have it's own sub-categories.  We must be fully aware of the fact that while some of these cages are self-imposed, many cages are erected around us against our will.  We are responsible for our choices, for how we choose to treat our own selves.  But if someone else has chosen to mistreat you, this is by no means your fault.  The fault is in them.  And while we can and should seek to change ourselves and grow, we cannot force change and growth on another soul.  If you are in an abusive situation, please seek help.  You are worthy of love, of true selfless love that cares for you and builds you up.

Sometimes the relationship we are in that tears us down, is the relationship with ourselves.  We can be our own worst enemies.  Patterns of eating disorders or negativity can cage us up and prohibit true growth and freedom.  Just our attitudes, something simple like the way we choose to look at the world and at life, can limit us.  A poor outlook will yield a poor attitude and just like that your freedom is hindered.

We just can't fly out of a cage if our wings are clipped, if our feet are tied to the perch, if we continually hold the cage door closed from the inside.  It takes letting go to be free.

When I really began my journey into freedom it was in the woods.  I was hiking almost every day over the summer.  There is something about being close with nature that can bring back perspective.  The trees sway in a breeze.  The birds sing passionately.  Bees buzz from flower to flower.  They all go about their business and don't fret about things they cannot change.

Slowly and slowly, day by day, trail by trail, I was able to release some things I had been holding on to.  I was able to regain focus on priorities.  Sometimes I only felt lost in the woods, confused, not knowing what I was supposed to do with the things I was realizing both about myself and also about the things in life that were weighing me down.  I would spend the whole time just asking, sometimes out loud, "What am I supposed to do now?"  What do you do when you come to the reality that things need to change?  How do you navigate such a massive shift when it seems impossible?

These are not easy questions.  But when I look over the list I started with here, all those things that can hold us back, I know that change is better than staying chained to whatever holds us captive.

A life of freedom is worth the letting go, it's worth that first impossible step, it's worth falling and getting back up over and over again, it's worth the continued walking forward when you feel as if you are walking waist deep in molasses, it's worth the fear your cope with as you look at changing, you are worthy of freedom.

Gosh.  This is such a huge subject.  And I've learned so much.  But it is also so very personal.  I can only walk my journey.  I can only speak of my own experience.  And I know that every single human has their own journey and experience.  But learning to embrace freedom by releasing whatever is not conducive to growth and the liberty of your very soul will have such a profound effect on you and your entire life.

My journey to freedom began in the woods.  It was there that I found my strength.  That strength emboldened me to dive into yoga teacher training.  That training opened up all new facets of life, humanity, God, love, freedom, balance, self, history, that I had never seen before.  This will not be everybody's story but it is mine.  Delving deeper with yoga allowed me to escape my cage, it gave me the courage to try out my wings.

So, hi.  My name is Eli and I've been living in freedom for almost 8 months now.  I'm still learning.  This journey is not done.  Sometimes I still live small, forgetting how far I've come.  Sometimes I don't know where the next step leads.  Sometimes I doubt this entire journey.  Change is hard and apparently change doesn't ever end because it leads to growth which leads to more change which leads to more growth.  I get tired. Where my world used to be so small and I could easily control most things, my world is now so expansive and I realize that I control nothing.

 Until next time!