It is no secret, I love taking pretty pictures. And I feel lucky to have eyes that see things, that notice details it seems others might not at first glance.
Would I call myself a "photographer"? Here's where it gets a little sticky. In the sense of the word, yes, I am. I take pictures. I even make money taking pictures (more on that later). But oh my goodness, to claim that title seems so certain, of which, I am not.
To say "I am a professional photographer" eludes to years and years of experience and training, it hints at accolades and magazine articles and trips to exotic places. It makes it seem that I know what I am doing at all times. "Leave it to the professionals kids. Don't try this at home." When in actuality I feel like a kid out exploring the world with a viewfinder.
I do have years of pictures under my belt and it has always been for fun, capturing my boys as they've grown up, capturing birds and gardens. And always, it seemed that, when I set my mind to it I could find an artistic way to present the every day.
About a year ago at this time I was in a season of serious discouragement. I felt stuck and hopeless. With pen in hand I sat down and wrote a list of the things I really, really wanted in my life. And I chose at that moment, to build those things into reality.
One of the things on my list was photography. It makes me immensely happy to be behind that lens. So I began to build a business. And still I build. And still I learn. And still I stumble. And still I doubt.
Oh my goodness do I doubt. There are times I feel like the biggest imposter in the world. What in the world am I doing here? Am I really a photographer?
But if I could describe to you the feeling I get when it is just me and my camera and beautiful things are happening and the very angels in heaven are singing a chorus of gratitude. And I think to myself, do I seriously get to do this? And people ask me to do this for them? And they want to give me money? What!?!
If I didn't have utility bills and an appetite for actual food I would probably take pictures for free for the rest of my ever-loving days.
It's not all sunshine and lollipops when you're building a business. I'm paying quarterly sales taxes. I'm invoicing. I'm building a reputation. I'm talking to human beings (this may be the most difficult for me). And every single day I am learning.
This is why I hesitate to say "I'm a professional" because you guys, I don't know what I'm doing! But I'm doing it.
And I'm thankful for my Aaron because he tempers me. When I want to quit he says "keep going". When I say "is this good enough" he says "absolutely". When I have ideas I bounce them off of him and get incredible feedback. When this thing is huge and I'm conquering the world he'll be right there conquering with me. And when it is small and the wheels need greasing he'll be there with the oil can (or whatever you use to grease wheels).
And you guys, whoever might be reading this, I'm thankful for you. Because really, I have some serious cheerleaders out there and your support is priceless to me. Thank you!
Until next time!
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