my tears, a poem

my tears, a poem by E McBride


by the waters of the sea

there I sat down

and there I wept

when I remembered

I hung my sadness

on the clouds there

for they carried away my tears

currently

Reading... The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Watching... Finished watching all five seasons of The Dick Van Dyke Show on Netflix, how to follow that?

Cooking...  Beef Stew on the second day of Spring??

Eating... Had leftover spaghetti for lunch

Drinking...  Iced caramel latte from Honeymoon Bay Coffee

Calling...  No.  I avoid phone calls at all cost.  Need a dentist appointment?  I would rather drive to the office and make the appointment in person.  Seriously.  Don't call me unless you are dying...and then, text if you can

Doing...  today was errands and garden tilling and photography blogging and driving with the sunroof open

Loving... my new décor in the bathroom, it was sooo time for an update.  Shout out to Ross and Hobby Lobby.

The bathroom before (there was big mirror there under the lights but was taken down for painting)

The bathroom after...for now (there are more projects to be completed)

Discovering...   myself.  Cliché as all get out but seriously.  I'm approaching a new decade and discovering this new depth to myself.  I carry myself differently, think differently, view the world differently.







Enjoying...   SPRING!  Sunshine and flowers and growth and green and longer days and going out without a coat! 

Thinking...  about the William Wordsworth poem I shared on my photography journal today.  Go check it out and tell me what you think.  Also there are pictures of daffodils.  So, win-win.

Elinor McBride Photography - Journal

 

Listening...   Hawaiian Reggae on Spotify, takes me right back to that time on Kauai

Smelling...   a Meyer lemon candle

Thankful... my clever husband recently installed an exhaust fan in our bathroom (can you believe it didn't have one?) No more showering in the middle of winter with the window wide open!  We also bought a new over-the-range microwave and again, Aaron got it installed and got the exhaust fan on that all hooked up (we haven't had exhaust in the kitchen for 4+ years!)  Yay for boiling pasta without steaming up all the windows!

Considering...  This:  "Do not imitate what is popular for acceptance; practice what is authentic for the sake of your soul." - Brandon Burchard.   I have to embrace this, out of necessity, in every single bit of my life.  Constantly reminding myself to be AUTHENTIC.

Also this:

 

Until next time!!

what am I doing

It is no secret, I love taking pretty pictures.  And I feel lucky to have eyes that see things, that notice details it seems others might not at first glance.

Would I call myself a "photographer"?  Here's where it gets a little sticky.  In the sense of the word, yes, I am.  I take pictures.  I even make money taking pictures (more on that later).  But oh my goodness, to claim that title seems so certain, of which, I am not.

To say "I am a professional photographer" eludes to years and years of experience and training, it hints at accolades and magazine articles and trips to exotic places.  It makes it seem that I know what I am doing at all times.  "Leave it to the professionals kids.  Don't try this at home."  When in actuality I feel like a kid out exploring the world with a viewfinder.

I do have years of pictures under my belt and it has always been for fun, capturing my boys as they've grown up, capturing birds and gardens.  And always, it seemed that, when I set my mind to it I could find an artistic way to present the every day.

About a year ago at this time I was in a season of serious discouragement.  I felt stuck and hopeless.  With pen in hand I sat down and wrote a list of the things I really, really wanted in my life.  And I chose at that moment, to build those things into reality.

One of the things on my list was photography.  It makes me immensely happy to be behind that lens.  So I began to build a business.  And still I build.  And still I learn.  And still I stumble.  And still I doubt.

Oh my goodness do I doubt.  There are times I feel like the biggest imposter in the world.  What in the world am I doing here?  Am I really a photographer?

But if I could describe to you the feeling I get when it is just me and my camera and beautiful things are happening and the very angels in heaven are singing a chorus of gratitude.  And I think to myself, do I seriously get to do this?  And people ask me to do this for them?  And they want to give me money?  What!?!

If I didn't have utility bills and an appetite for actual food I would probably take pictures for free for the rest of my ever-loving days.

It's not all sunshine and lollipops when you're building a business.  I'm paying quarterly sales taxes.  I'm invoicing.  I'm building a reputation.  I'm talking to human beings (this may be the most difficult for me).  And every single day I am learning.

This is why I hesitate to say "I'm a professional" because you guys, I don't know what I'm doing!  But I'm doing it.

And I'm thankful for my Aaron because he tempers me.  When I want to quit he says "keep going".  When I say "is this good enough" he says "absolutely".  When I have ideas I bounce them off of him and get incredible feedback.  When this thing is huge and I'm conquering the world he'll be right there conquering with me.  And when it is small and the wheels need greasing he'll be there with the oil can (or whatever you use to grease wheels).

And you guys, whoever might be reading this, I'm thankful for you.  Because really, I have some serious cheerleaders out there and your support is priceless to me.  Thank you!

Until next time!