We're well on our way to December. The first big wind storm came through last night but today is sunshine and calm. I know everybody says that time whizzes by and I get it, really I do, but for reals, I don't even know what happened to the last six months.
Our Thanksgiving was pretty low-key. The boys have been sick. One had to work. So, I made too much food for four people and watched part of the parade and played Scrabble and Uno and got in some studying.
Aaron and I drove to Leavenworth for Black Friday. This has been on my list for some time. It is a little German town up in the mountains and I've always heard how beautiful it is. It snowed on us as we drove the 3 hours there. We listened to Christmas music and drank coffee. And it was beautiful when we got there. Christmas lights and decorations and sounds. And all the people. So many people. We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut (he didn't, I did), walked through the shops, watched people, drank more coffee, then decided to drive home. We'll go back, maybe in the summer or early fall, before the snow when we can enjoy some of the outdoorsy things Leavenworth has to offer.
All in all, things are pretty good around here.
Only three weeks left of my teacher training. I'll be sad when it's over BUT I'm looking forward to putting the stress of studying and quizzes behind me. I intend to continue educating myself and reading but at a little more of a relaxed pace and without weekly tests! I think when it's over mid December, I'll just take the rest of the month and do a simplicity fast. I'll turn off my social medias, put away the lists upon lists, and just BE until the New Year. And I'll bake Christmas cookies. Maybe not every day, but often.
A couple weeks back I was able to do a senior photo session with one of Blake's best friends. It was such a positive experience and I received positive feedback and it just warmed my heart. I love taking pictures so much. And I love working with people who are relaxed and genuine. This session just fit the bill.
Anyhoo. I have a quiz tonight and I really need to study because I really want to get out of the house and get outside with my dog.
Until next time!
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
currently
reading... The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, also studying Ayurveda, Yin Yoga, and Effective Class Assisting and Adjustment
cooking... hit it out of the park with last night's dinner of roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, brussels sprouts, and a peach/berry cobbler for dessert.
eating... breakfast today was peach/berry cobbler, met my husband at Jumbo Burrito for carne asada nachos at lunchtime, making chicken soup with egg noodles for dinner
doing... internet was down in my neighborhood so I had to go to the library to download some things I needed to study
going... to class tonight. I'll be practicing assisting on real life humans.
loving... where I am right now. I have a tendency lately to go on and on and on and on about all the ways I'm learning and growing and changing. It's just that my heart is so happy, my mind so at ease that I can't NOT let it just spill out of me. So, if you've been a recipient of all of what I have to say, thank you and I'm sorry and it'll probably happen again.
thinking... planning our Thanksgiving dinner and am disheartened by the consumerism of this country. Why? Because my eldest son works retail and will be absent from home for a large portion of Thanksgiving day so that people can fulfill their consumer-laden lusts. My youngest son works in a grocery store and will also be absent from home for some portion of Thanksgiving day. This isn't what it's about folks. We're getting it wrong.
feeling... happy, joyful, peaceful, free, purposeful, ALIVE
hoping for... a really great wrestling season for my boy. It is his last year. I'm emotional already. Anyhoo, the season started this week, well practice did. It'll be a few weeks before competitions start. I don't want it to end you guys. How do you put that into words?
smelling... diffusing Doterra's Breathe Blend (Laurel, Eucalyptus, Peppermint, Melaleuca, Lemon, Cardamom)
considering... If you put good into the world, you're going to get good back. Giving off the good energy, living the compassion and grace, shining the light. Whatever it is, by it's very nature, it'll come back around. It's true. It happens.
finishing... this post so I can go finish up chicken soup and head to class.
Until next time!
cooking... hit it out of the park with last night's dinner of roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, brussels sprouts, and a peach/berry cobbler for dessert.
eating... breakfast today was peach/berry cobbler, met my husband at Jumbo Burrito for carne asada nachos at lunchtime, making chicken soup with egg noodles for dinner
doing... internet was down in my neighborhood so I had to go to the library to download some things I needed to study
going... to class tonight. I'll be practicing assisting on real life humans.
loving... where I am right now. I have a tendency lately to go on and on and on and on about all the ways I'm learning and growing and changing. It's just that my heart is so happy, my mind so at ease that I can't NOT let it just spill out of me. So, if you've been a recipient of all of what I have to say, thank you and I'm sorry and it'll probably happen again.
thinking... planning our Thanksgiving dinner and am disheartened by the consumerism of this country. Why? Because my eldest son works retail and will be absent from home for a large portion of Thanksgiving day so that people can fulfill their consumer-laden lusts. My youngest son works in a grocery store and will also be absent from home for some portion of Thanksgiving day. This isn't what it's about folks. We're getting it wrong.
feeling... happy, joyful, peaceful, free, purposeful, ALIVE
hoping for... a really great wrestling season for my boy. It is his last year. I'm emotional already. Anyhoo, the season started this week, well practice did. It'll be a few weeks before competitions start. I don't want it to end you guys. How do you put that into words?
smelling... diffusing Doterra's Breathe Blend (Laurel, Eucalyptus, Peppermint, Melaleuca, Lemon, Cardamom)
considering... If you put good into the world, you're going to get good back. Giving off the good energy, living the compassion and grace, shining the light. Whatever it is, by it's very nature, it'll come back around. It's true. It happens.
finishing... this post so I can go finish up chicken soup and head to class.
Until next time!
Thursday, November 8, 2018
goodbye fear
If you follow along with my Instagram you may have seen my playing around with gravity and a tree in an inversion. And you may have seen my bluff-side yoga practice locale. You may continue to see more of these type things as I share more. These things are not new to me but in the past I have let fear stop me from sharing.
Oh fear, my old friend. Always warning me that people might judge me for doing this or that. Always holding me back from true authenticity. If it weren't for fear, just imagine the places you or I could be!
I had to let go of fear that first time I did a headstand. I let go of fear when I signed up for yoga teacher training. I have been so governed by fear that letting it go is a moment by moment practice.
So I practice yoga on a bluff, in the trees, on the beach. I practice yoga here and there. I practice yoga everywhere. Sam I am.
Tonight I'm teaching a 30 minute sequence. As I was creating the sequence, the imagery of water kept coming to mind. The fluidity of motion, the ebb and flow of waves at the shore. It reminds me of the quality I like to bring to my own yoga, that softness and strength that water possesses. As I lead through what I have planned, I'm hoping to convey that idea to everyone else. Yesterday, as I practiced this very sequence on a bluff overlooking the Puget Sound, I closed my eyes and listened to the waves on the beach below and wished I could transport that sensation to my class tonight.
In the face of fear over teaching tonight I'm harnessing confidence and grace. I have nothing to prove and everything to share. I might forget words. I might forget my place. My voice might shake. But it doesn't matter. None of that matters because it is not about me.
As I've mentioned before, I have no idea where this journey will take me but I'm thankful to be on it. I'm thankful for the lessons I'm learning along the way. I see the changes in myself and am grateful that along the way I've had the courage to change. I'm finding freedom where before was only bondage.
Until next time!
Oh fear, my old friend. Always warning me that people might judge me for doing this or that. Always holding me back from true authenticity. If it weren't for fear, just imagine the places you or I could be!
I had to let go of fear that first time I did a headstand. I let go of fear when I signed up for yoga teacher training. I have been so governed by fear that letting it go is a moment by moment practice.
So I practice yoga on a bluff, in the trees, on the beach. I practice yoga here and there. I practice yoga everywhere. Sam I am.
Tonight I'm teaching a 30 minute sequence. As I was creating the sequence, the imagery of water kept coming to mind. The fluidity of motion, the ebb and flow of waves at the shore. It reminds me of the quality I like to bring to my own yoga, that softness and strength that water possesses. As I lead through what I have planned, I'm hoping to convey that idea to everyone else. Yesterday, as I practiced this very sequence on a bluff overlooking the Puget Sound, I closed my eyes and listened to the waves on the beach below and wished I could transport that sensation to my class tonight.
In the face of fear over teaching tonight I'm harnessing confidence and grace. I have nothing to prove and everything to share. I might forget words. I might forget my place. My voice might shake. But it doesn't matter. None of that matters because it is not about me.
As I've mentioned before, I have no idea where this journey will take me but I'm thankful to be on it. I'm thankful for the lessons I'm learning along the way. I see the changes in myself and am grateful that along the way I've had the courage to change. I'm finding freedom where before was only bondage.
Until next time!
Tuesday, November 6, 2018
the chicken story
Once upon a time there was a chicken named Nuggets. She grew up with 4 sisters, each one of them very different from the next. Nuggets was one of the smallest, larger only than her little sister Elsa who was always getting picked on. But Nuggets was smart. She was the problem solver of the group.
Feathers of gray in as many shades as you can imagine, she grew to lay the most beautiful pale green eggs. Although, they were each so special that she didn't lay them often. Beauty takes time, she thought. But it didn't matter, what she lacked in egg laying speed she made up for in running speed. "Faster than the wind" her sister's liked to say. She loved tucking her head down and running like a bullet.
Nugget's eldest sister Mintie, was a great leader. She always knew where the best food was and if she couldn't find any she was very vocal to the humans to bring her some. She shared with her sisters and was a very pleasant friend. One tragic night, a raccoon took Mintie's life and the family was shattered, at least for a day while they adjusted. Chickens are resilient and bounce back from tragedy rather quickly.
Life continued on for the four remaining sisters. They spent their days in leisure, eating insects and scratching around the garden. One sunny Sunday, a young dog leaped over the fence and into their yard. At first he just wanted to play but as he caught a whiff of them something changed and he dove in for blood. The sisters scattered and hid and it wasn't until the dust settled and the humans had chased the dog away that they realized that their sister Pearl, a beautiful Buff Orpington, had been killed.
With just three of them, things were rather quiet. Nobody felt like talking too much but they still enjoyed their days, keeping each other company as they pecked around in the sun, or hunkered in the coop in the rain. Each day came and went, the human gave them treats of sunflower seeds and bananas. Spring came and the cherry tree blossomed white. As the blossoms fell they remembered Pearl who always liked to eat the sweet white petals. Summer faded into fall and the leaves began to change in a brilliant display of color.
After breakfast was served one windy Thursday morning in the fall, a giant shadow descended into their yard. It was big and scary and they could only scatter and hide. Elsa ran to the safety of the coop. Braveheart fled to the far corner of the yard and hid behind the trampoline where she could still monitor the scary shadow. She squawked as loudly as she could, hoping to warn her sisters and maybe scare the shadow away.
Braveheart's clamoring alerted the human who came outside to discover the shadow of death. It raised it's six-foot wingspan and reluctantly lifted off the ground. Dark brown feathers and stark white head slowly evacuated the yard and Braveheart immediately made her way to Elsa's side in the coop. But nobody knew where Nuggets had gone.
The human traced the edges of the yard, calling for her in the wind. The height of the human allowed for a checking over the perimeter fences. Still no Nuggets. Everybody checked in the corners of the coop to see if Nuggets could be hiding in safety there. Still nothing.
The wind blew strong. Defeated, the human went back in the house. Braveheart and Elsa recounted the harrowing adventure, all the time wondering what, or who, they could be missing. The human came outside a few more times, retracing steps, calling for Nuggets, before returning to the house.
Finally, in what was a last ditch effort, the human enlisted the help of the small furry one she called Charlie. His short legs leaped out the back door way with all the purpose he had and at that moment Nuggets came squeezing and straining to get out of the tight place she had wedged herself in. Once free, she shook all her beautiful gray feathers back into place, thankful to be rid of the constriction.
After a brief show of relief toward the human she scurried to the safety of the coop and the companionship of her sisters who barely noticed her return. The human closed them in safely and they remained their for the remainder of that day and most of the next.
A full eighteen hours after the terrifying experience, the human offered them a walk around the yard. They cautiously scanned the surroundings and carefully took a few steps. A big gust of wind kicked up, causing the tree branches to shake and a bunch of fallen leaves to swirl and it was so scary that the sisters could only run in circles of fear hoping to escape the fury. Thankfully the human escorted them back to their coop and closed them in tightly, safe from terror.
To this day, the sisters live cautiously. Scanning the sky for the great dark shadow with the giant wingspan. The human also, watches the treetops for any signs of danger. Sometimes though, they get warm cereal full of grains and fiber for breakfast and it causes them to forget all their worries. There just isn't anything better than wheat germ and cornmeal to a chicken.
The End.
Feathers of gray in as many shades as you can imagine, she grew to lay the most beautiful pale green eggs. Although, they were each so special that she didn't lay them often. Beauty takes time, she thought. But it didn't matter, what she lacked in egg laying speed she made up for in running speed. "Faster than the wind" her sister's liked to say. She loved tucking her head down and running like a bullet.
Nugget's eldest sister Mintie, was a great leader. She always knew where the best food was and if she couldn't find any she was very vocal to the humans to bring her some. She shared with her sisters and was a very pleasant friend. One tragic night, a raccoon took Mintie's life and the family was shattered, at least for a day while they adjusted. Chickens are resilient and bounce back from tragedy rather quickly.
Life continued on for the four remaining sisters. They spent their days in leisure, eating insects and scratching around the garden. One sunny Sunday, a young dog leaped over the fence and into their yard. At first he just wanted to play but as he caught a whiff of them something changed and he dove in for blood. The sisters scattered and hid and it wasn't until the dust settled and the humans had chased the dog away that they realized that their sister Pearl, a beautiful Buff Orpington, had been killed.
With just three of them, things were rather quiet. Nobody felt like talking too much but they still enjoyed their days, keeping each other company as they pecked around in the sun, or hunkered in the coop in the rain. Each day came and went, the human gave them treats of sunflower seeds and bananas. Spring came and the cherry tree blossomed white. As the blossoms fell they remembered Pearl who always liked to eat the sweet white petals. Summer faded into fall and the leaves began to change in a brilliant display of color.
After breakfast was served one windy Thursday morning in the fall, a giant shadow descended into their yard. It was big and scary and they could only scatter and hide. Elsa ran to the safety of the coop. Braveheart fled to the far corner of the yard and hid behind the trampoline where she could still monitor the scary shadow. She squawked as loudly as she could, hoping to warn her sisters and maybe scare the shadow away.
Braveheart's clamoring alerted the human who came outside to discover the shadow of death. It raised it's six-foot wingspan and reluctantly lifted off the ground. Dark brown feathers and stark white head slowly evacuated the yard and Braveheart immediately made her way to Elsa's side in the coop. But nobody knew where Nuggets had gone.
The human traced the edges of the yard, calling for her in the wind. The height of the human allowed for a checking over the perimeter fences. Still no Nuggets. Everybody checked in the corners of the coop to see if Nuggets could be hiding in safety there. Still nothing.
The wind blew strong. Defeated, the human went back in the house. Braveheart and Elsa recounted the harrowing adventure, all the time wondering what, or who, they could be missing. The human came outside a few more times, retracing steps, calling for Nuggets, before returning to the house.
Finally, in what was a last ditch effort, the human enlisted the help of the small furry one she called Charlie. His short legs leaped out the back door way with all the purpose he had and at that moment Nuggets came squeezing and straining to get out of the tight place she had wedged herself in. Once free, she shook all her beautiful gray feathers back into place, thankful to be rid of the constriction.
After a brief show of relief toward the human she scurried to the safety of the coop and the companionship of her sisters who barely noticed her return. The human closed them in safely and they remained their for the remainder of that day and most of the next.
A full eighteen hours after the terrifying experience, the human offered them a walk around the yard. They cautiously scanned the surroundings and carefully took a few steps. A big gust of wind kicked up, causing the tree branches to shake and a bunch of fallen leaves to swirl and it was so scary that the sisters could only run in circles of fear hoping to escape the fury. Thankfully the human escorted them back to their coop and closed them in tightly, safe from terror.
To this day, the sisters live cautiously. Scanning the sky for the great dark shadow with the giant wingspan. The human also, watches the treetops for any signs of danger. Sometimes though, they get warm cereal full of grains and fiber for breakfast and it causes them to forget all their worries. There just isn't anything better than wheat germ and cornmeal to a chicken.
The End.
Monday, November 5, 2018
all the yoga, all the time
(on my mat, in pj's, with coffee, working on sequencing)
We are halfway through yoga teacher training. 5 weeks in. 5 weeks to go. And I have a hint of discouragement (?), overwhelming (?), fatigue (?). It is nothing bad, part of the process really. There is just soooo much information, and a lot of self-study, and projects, and essays looming overhead, and a big public teaching session to work toward. I just find myself a little lost in it all. No doubt, I'll make it through, we'll each make it through and we'll never have a moment of regret except that it ended.
I'm thankful that I'm only working at the restaurant two days a week right now. It allows me open days to stay caught up on my studies and normal life stuff. Some of my classmates have full time jobs and I'm sure that the feelings I've been having they are having two-fold.
Just today I spent a few hours tweaking my 30 minute sequence that I will be teaching on Thursday. and creating a sequence based on my Ayurveda dosha type (Pitta) and working on a sequence based on meridians. All the yoga, all the time. And it is amazing and hard and all the things.
So I am baking a cake. An old-fashioned apple cake that will get topped with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream later on. Because when you are feeling overwhelmed: CAKE.
And when the day ends an hour earlier and the sky gets dark and there is a chill in the air, you make a pot roast with red potatoes, onions, and carrots. It's a thing.
So I've got the comfort food and I'm putting my nose to the grindstone and I'm getting this training stuff done. I can't tell you what life will look like when this is over. I've learned so much and I can't see not applying it. Will I teach in a studio? Will I offer private lessons? Will I volunteer where ever yoga might be needed most?
Maybe you remember I told you about a list I had written? Well, a year and a half ago, I shared this on this blog:
Here I stand at this new fork in the road, this junction between where I've been and where I want to be. I wrote down the parts of life that bring me the most joy, a list of things I'm passionate about. I studied the list, carried it with me for months. And came to the conclusion that I need to build my life around those things.
I wrote that list during a really depressing time and the list got me through because it gave me something to work toward, it gave me purpose. I climbed out of the pit I was in and set myself to working on some things. And still I build.
Yoga was on that list.
I've been amazed at the changes that can be brought about just by setting yourself up with goals, a plan, and purpose. You don't have to settle for mundane. You don't have to feel stuck. You are free to get out and DO THINGS that bring you joy. Think about all the things you would do if you weren't afraid. Then do them.
Anyhoo. This is where I am. Doing the things. Stepping past fear on the daily.
How about you?
Until next time!
Sunrise during a windstorm a few days ago....
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